Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
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I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
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That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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