don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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