matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
