Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
