hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
