Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
