Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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