Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
