He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
