i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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