Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
