last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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