I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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