You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
