I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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