its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
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