Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize