you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
