Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
