She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't turn off my feet"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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