I showed him my bush... on skype.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
