.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The uberlube is also flammable
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
