Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You ruined the universe
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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