The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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