I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
