How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
