We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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