She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
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The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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