Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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