i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
