What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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