Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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