What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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