either way he was missing a nipple.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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