Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
