The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
