And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
where does the pee come out of this thing
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
