If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
