I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
zippers are such a cool invention
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
