you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
