I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
