Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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