hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
