i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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