I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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