my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
