My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize