do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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