I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
