in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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