Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
this will be a night to untag.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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