I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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