Got a toothbrush?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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