tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
