4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
PANTIES FOUND
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