A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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