Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
