Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
