So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
even my farts smell like vagina
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
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She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
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i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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