I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
