Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
