I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize