why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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