Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
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the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
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I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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